But since then my hatred of God has just grown and grown. I didn't start to actually hate God until I was 16 or so, a couple of years after leaving Christian school. I have had low self esteem since 5, depression since 10, and been suicidal on and off since 12. I went to Christian school from Kindergarten to 9th grade, where I was abused by the adults and bullied by the other children, to the point of receiving daily death threats. I'm a 20 year old guy and I was raised in an extremely religious household. It's gotten to the point that I have gotten into conspiracy theories like the New World Order and Illuminati simply because I WANT to join a devil worship organization to try to overthrow God.
I think it goes back to when I was abused at a Christian school as a child.
